Sunday, May 27, 2007

As the knife digs deep

It's amazing how many different thoughts and feelings can go through your head in quite literally a single instant. Thoughts like:
Wow, this is going to be bad.
That feels funny.
Now what am I going to do?
This is a stupid way to get hurt.

I know this is random, it's just that so many people don't remember the instant traumatic things happen to them. They simply haven't trained their minds to function as something shocking is happening. Adrenaline, fear, and shock all cloud the mind's ability to react and remember. I know it sounds very silly to anyone who hasn't taken martial arts, but there's something to the idea of training yourself to watch a fist coming at your face and not react blindly, but choose an action to counter what's coming. And it's funny to look back and realize just how much your mind can accomplish while a blade is cutting you, even if it's only to watch and make commentary.

Wednesday, May 9, 2007

The hand behind this pen relives a failure everyday

It never ceases to amaze me how when people need help, they invariably run straight to the people who cannot help them. When people reveal confidences, they will unfailingly tell them to those who will treat them as news the public should know. Beware, friend, for those who seem most eager to help can often be the same who have not and will never have your best interests in mind.

And yet therein lies a problem: how can I warn you off of some people and expect you to turn right around and trust me? What do I offer that others do not? What assurance can I give you that I will not dissapoint where others will? How have I cornered the market on trustworthiness?

And see, that's part of my problem. I love to paint with a broad brush. A couple of things have aggravated me today, and to keep not-so-innocent parties anonymous, I will brand all other people besides myself as untrustworthy, when that is anything but true. I can think of several people who will think this blog is about them. Rest assured, it probably is not; and if it were, I probably wouldn't tell you, so don't ask. There are those who do have your best interests in mind, but realize that those best interests may not be what you want. And maybe that's the point behind all of this. If you surround yourself with those who will only validate and reinforce what you already feel, what do you do if you are wrong? "Yes men," while being great for your ego, are horrible for your health. Surround yourself, instead, with those who will challenge you to be what you can be - which may be different from what you want to be.

Why do I have a monopoly on healthy introspection? I didn't ask for it, it's just that no one else is buying.