Thursday, October 21, 2010

I just don't get it.

It's been an odd week.

First of all, let's start at the end of the week. As part of my training for the marathon, I have a 10-mile run first thing Saturday morning. That will be the furthest I have ever run (although, to be honest, every other week now is the furthest I've ever run). Then, in the afternoon I have a charity golf tournament.

I know, hard knock life, eh?

But I know I'll be exhausted.

I was supposed to go for a run on Tuesday night, but I looked at my wife and told her that I just didn't feel like I physically could run. One hour later I had a migraine. And it was a doozy. The only thing I have ever found that will cure my migraines is sleep. So I tried to sleep it off until it finally was gone about 4am. But it was one of those that has lingering affects for the next 24-36 hours. So I haven't been able to do much of anything as far as working out this week.

So tonight I decide to go for a run and it was NOT. GOOD. My legs hurt almost from the beginning, and continued to do so throughout. My hamstring was tight. My calves felt sore. My feet ached. I couldn't seem to get in any rhythm whatsoever. Thank goodness the music was good! But I've realized something as I've gotten physically active again.

I don't get a 2nd wind.
I never have.

I guess I don't have that part of my brain that triggers to release endorphins in the middle of exercise to keep me going. Which can make exercise, or martial arts (what I used to do), or running miserable.

Once again, I'm going to use running as an example for the rest of my life.

I can always find an excuse to quit. But I hate doing it. It's the weirdest thing; at any point in time I could tell you multiple reasons why I should stop running, or volunteering, or what's wrong with my job. But I can't quit. I will keep running long after it starts hurting, and long after I want to stop. It's almost like I have the gift of perseverance, but the implementation of that gift is torture.

I'm not saying that I persevere in everything I do. But in the things that I have trouble quitting, the process seems very difficult.

I wish that these things came easy, but they don't. I wish that I could catch a second wind, but it never comes. I wish that life wasn't hard, but that's life. I've just got to keep running.


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