Tuesday, December 21, 2010

...and not a day goes by...

20 years ago today I made the most important decision of my life.

Now, I know many people who would say that about many different decisions that have been made. Who they would marry, where they would go to school or work, etc. But in my life, those decisions are dwarfed by another.

Today is my (Christian) birthday.

20 years ago I gave my life to Christ, and not a day goes by that is not influenced by that decision. Because every other important decision in my life is weighed against this one. My relationships succeed or fail based on this relationship. My path in life is authored by this path.

Looking back now, I understand that I knew next to nothing about what I was getting into, or what was really going on. But who does? Who has perfect, or even mature, knowledge of what they signed up for when they get married, or have kids? That's not the point. The point is that I knew enough to know that I was in no way a good person, there were consequences for my not being a good person, and Someone had paid my price for who I was. I remember the burden I had been carrying around, the guilt of all the things I had done that I knew weren't right.

And I remember the freedom when I came up out of that water. The pure exhilaration, the joy, the knowledge that those things didn't matter anymore, I was newborn!

I'm still a bad person, I guess I always will be. But I'm beginning to understand Grace, and freedom from sin, and the Love of God.

And I feel like not a day goes by that, if I walk with God, is not touched by Him to bring me closer. To who I could be. To who I should be. To Him.

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